So last time I wrote about A being anxious. When I finished that post, I was anxious too, but also ready to take action. Ready to find her a therapist that understood her, ready to come up with new strategies for taking care of our sweet big girl, ready to fix everything. And then . . . September! Because E goes to a co-op preschool, I have duties to fulfill there and because I am a "hand raiser" I have a lot of duties to fulfill at A's school and because I suck at saying no, there are other things that I do. And then Daniel traveled for work (which almost never happens) and then I had to stand in front of a bunch of people at back to school night and talk for about 1 minute, maybe more, but not much . And then and then and then. Bah!!! The truth is, I love all of this volunteering. I love all this juggling of schedules and time. But it's gotten away from me and I think I'm failing a little bit at the most important part, which is the parenting.
I'm trying to rein it back in. And mostly that just means slowing down long enough to take a few deep breaths and realize that things aren't actually out of control. I need a schedule. I need to get a handle on what is coming next and make a plan. Though I am wondering, why the fuck do we have so much laundry?! You can not fold laundry on the run, so that is the chore that is the most glaringly not done. Here's a secret not about laundry: while you are brushing your teeth, you can wipe the sink and the back of the toilet (how come there is so much dust on the back of the toilet anyway?!) with a tissue and it will look as if you have cleaned your bathroom. Yep. I rock at housekeeping! However, we do keep running out of milk and I think that is starting to wear on my girls. They are questioning my ability to keep the household together. This lack of milk is alarming. They have noticed nothing else amiss, but the lack of milk is getting their attention.
I wonder how everyone else is keeping milk in the fridge. Do your families just not drink milk? Do you have black coffee in the morning?! There is a mom at Little E's school and she has 4 kids and she volunteers all over the damn place and I bet there is a full gallon of organic milk in her fridge. How does she do this? If she's not getting it all done and she's failing a little bit at parenting, I think she owes it to the rest of us to wear a small sign that says, "I'm losing it a little bit too. You're not alone. Also, may I borrow 2 cups of milk?" This would make me feel better. However, as I write this I realize, it's not a fucking competition. We are not competing to be the best, most aggressive volunteerer (I know this is not a word), we don't need to outshine our fellow mamas. We ought to be building each other up. Celebrating each victory. Each committee volunteered for, each lunch packed, each moment in which we felt like throttling our sweet babies, but didn't!
Here's to you, Mamas! Congratulations on getting out of bed today and soldiering on. Congratulations on getting your small sweet monster to soccer on time. You remembered to sign the permission slip? Excellent work! I see your kid eating vegetables and I salute you.
I'm Molly. I'm all in for parenting. I'm all in for good food. All in for big and small outdoor adventures. And really only partly in for homemaking. I want a Martha Stewart home and meal, but the truth is, we mamas just can't do it all. Not really. This shit is tricky!
This is a collection of musings and missives about parenting like you mean it. I mean really mean it. About how you can pull off a really mostly decent meal, keep your house kinda clean, do some of your laundry, and also even remember to usually feed your pets. But mostly about how being a mama is hard and we can totally rock it, but maybe that dream of perfection has got to give a little.