I wrote a letter to my big girl because shit has gotten so much more more difficult than I anticipated and I was increasingly losing my mind. More and more often I have felt like our interactions escalate quickly and my behavior devolves just as quickly. I find myself answering her snotty, argumentative retorts with my own sharp remarks or with consequences that don't make sense. It was ugly and we were both losing sight of the people that we really want to be. 
​Check out the letter on Portland City Moms Blog. 
I wrote a letter to A when she was three and it is a manifesto that I have tried very hard to live by and, call me naive, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to continue living by each one of the promises I made in that letter. They seemed straight forward and reasonable. I'm still working hard at it, but now I'll also remember my new plan. 

 
So, I confessed to being a fraud. Probably not all that I do is fraudulent, but it feels like much of my time is spent messing up, running around, and scrambling to cover all of my commitments. On the surface, I look like I totally have my shit together and that I am just killing it every day. I'm not. It's painful to admit because the truth is, I like the have it all together image. I like people thinking that I am a mama rock star. I wrote a bit about it for Portland Mom's Blog. Check it out. But don't judge me too harshly. Please.