In Which I Am Not Martha or How To Remove Berry Stains

So, I have one kind of Martha Stewart-ish trick that I trot out as often as I can. It's a good trick and I will tell you about it in a minute. You should care because it's a good trick. (It's about berry stains) Anyway, why, this need that everyone know that I have a Martha Stewart worthy trick up my sleeve?

Here it is: I want to be like her. Not the jail part, but the beautifully organized  color coordinated part. I am not this. I am not this because I have this other desire that is winning (also I don't have the money): I have children with whom I want to spend my time. (Even though they bug the shit out of me sometimes.) I want to read them stories and make them good meals and I want to swim in the river and climb small mountains and grow food in our garden and volunteer an insane amount of hours in their classrooms and in their school gardens. This is where I am choosing to put my time. 

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This is a fine and sound choice. And, it turns out that I can't have both things. And also, you know what, I don't think that anyone is doing both. Instagram, and Pinterest are full of liars. I'm pretty sure they are all liars! Or maybe not. Whatever. I can't do both things. But I can get out berry stains. From anything. Truly, I can kick the ass of any berry stain.  But I am sooooo tired of the pictures of perfect everything. 

I am also sick of  the flip side, on which parents are declaring sanctimoniously (what?!) that they will not make the bed, vacuum the living room, fold the clothes, put away said clothes or wash the dishes because none of this is as important as spending time with our sweet babies. It's true, these mundane and boring and unending tasks are not as important.

However, I must do some of these things sometimes. And I suspect that those claiming that they don't do these things are exaggerating. Our lives and our homes feel so much better if we can get some of the shit put away some of the time. 

My anxiety level goes down when I can see the countertops and when I know where the carpet ends and the wood floor begins. But it's not just me. My kids feel better too. They treat our home more gently and all of their shit with more care when it's not strewn all about the floor. 

This dress was used as a berry picking bucket. And then it sat around for a week or so because finding the time to boil water, well, you know . . .

HOW TO REMOVE BERRY STAINS FROM CLOTHING

1. drape clothing over upturned colander in sink
2. pour boiling water over stained area
3. voila! no more stain
4. sometimes it takes more than one pour of the boiling water
5. hang to dry and then wash as normal

Sometimes the messes are super important: Unicorns, Guardians of the Dairy Products

And sometimes the messes are not important. Just a bunch of crap lying around. Note the wine glass and the coffee cup. Hee hee hee