 I'm feeling a lot of pressure lately to "cherish every moment". Yes, I know, "they grow up so fast". Yes, I get it, "this time is precious". Oh. My. Fucking. God. Why are my children crying again?! I mean, "I'm coming my precious little dears who will soon be grown up. How can I help you this time?" Have I told you about the truly enormous overreactions of my sweet babies? Every scrape, bump, splinter or hurt feeling results in the same wailing and carrying on. Sometimes this wailing and carrying on will last only a few moments and sometimes the sweet baby is inconsolable for hours and hours and hours. Ok, maybe not hours. A long time though. I have no way of knowing whether this wailing is commensurate with the damage done by the fall from the top of the monkey bars because it's the same wailing that happened 7 and a half minutes ago when she stubbed her toe on the peddle of her bike. Yes, I've told them the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. They don't get how it applies to them. Even when I tell the story using their names. Also, dinner is not ready and I don't have a plan anymore because the potatoes that were going to become delicious mashed potatoes were growing long stems and a little bit of mold. And also, the chicken smells funny. Everyone is hungry and it is my responsibility to solve this problem before we all melt down and wail and carry on for hours and hours and hours. I'm trying really effing hard to cherish this time. Truly, I am. I get it, it will be gone in a blink. I'm trying to remember that it is a gift to have these beautiful, healthy, wailing children. I know that sooner than I can imagine they will be sullen teenagers who have come to realize the truth about me, which is that I have no idea what I'm doing and that I squandered the precious moments. They will hate me. And I won't have cherished enough. Fuck! I think maybe, all those old people (I mean the really old ones, like 64 year olds) didn't cherish this shit either. Maybe they cherished the sweet moments but forgot about the 92% of the day that is wailing and carrying on and making breakfast and making lunch and then making dinner and folding laundry and fetching glasses of water . . . again. I wish they would stop telling me to cherish it because that phrase is sneaking into the vernacular of my peers and they are saying it too sometimes. And the truth is, we are all perpetuating this myth that it's all sunshine and roses and if we're not loving it and recognizing it as precious then we're wasting the time and we'll regret it later. Bullshit. This is hard and we'll all be a little bit grateful when our teenagers sleep until noon and then only want a bowl of cereal that they can prepare their own damn selves. Probably we'll miss this sweet time too because we'll have forgotten the 92% of the day that is actually just kind of a slog and we will remember the sweetness. There is plenty (almost plenty) of sweetness. And some days those moments seem to swell enough to crowd out the 92%. We will tell new mothers to "cherish every sweet thing" and that it will "all be gone in flash". Humph! I guess I get it, but . . . Oh, wait, there's the crying again.
Auntie Moe
4/2/2015 06:22:09 am
" like 64 year olds" Whew, I'm still under the really old wire!
Auntie Moe
4/3/2015 08:10:25 am
I can only hope that you become the role model for future moms to be. Never doubt, Cedar Arms moms rock, younger moms make us see the things we may have passed by. Grandmothers only become better from what we see and learn from moms like you!Love you Molly
Mom
4/3/2015 06:33:15 am
Try to remind yourself that your children and their crying is normal. Your job is to calmly reassure them again and again and again. And while you think their crying is petty because you know all the truly horrible things it could be but isn't,one of the sweetest blessings in your life is that they don't even know about any of those truly horrible things that happen to so many less advantaged people.
Molly
4/3/2015 06:45:13 am
Oh, mom! You're one of those old people trying to tell me to cherish the moment aren't you?! Curses! Do I have to listen to you because you're my mother? I know it's normal and I try to be calm and understanding. I'm doing my best.
Shannon
4/2/2017 08:39:14 pm
You need a Molly to come give a break (since you were one of my favorite babysitter as word as that is given it miniscule age difference.
Rosanna
4/3/2015 07:52:27 am
Oh man Molly..the crying..and for no reason! Makes my pregnant self right now not a happy mama! I just want to yell..what the F*CK are you crying about this time? Is it different from the crying 2 min ago? And seriously you are crying because you can't reach your toy/water/whatever that is less than 2" away from you? The life of a toddler. I am definitely trying to enjoy and cherish the sweet moments too..but the crying! ARRGH!
Yes, Rosanna, the crying. It is really really a lot of crying a lot of the time. In fact, right now A is in her room crying because her art project (which incidentally, looks great) was not going her way. I know I'm supposed to go console her, but oh, the crying!!! I just can't. Also, I hope my mother does not weigh in on this comment, because she will be mad at me. She may have to be the subject of my next blog post. I! LOVE! THIS! Even though in your world, I am hovering near really old ( not in mine, mind you ...only in yours ;) ) All I can say is I so totally relate ... I used to nod my head and think "yeah, whatever." at the ones who suggested I should cherish these years or that I would want them back. It's is crazy town how the years sneak up on us and before we know it we are ancient crones, right?! I feel shocked by the approaching 40 year mark. Ok with it, but surprised! How can this possibly be, I feel a mere 25 only super super smart! I was also just speaking with my husband about the way our perspectives change as we get older and wiser. 30 used to seem impossibly old. Now, despite the blog post, 64 doesn't seem old at all. Now, 75, that's another story! ;) At least until I'm 65. Thanks for reading Deborah! Glad you enjoyed it. 4/4/2015 12:02:59 pm
I feel you sister. How am I supposed to cherish my daughter waking up at 5:30 on a Saturday morning when during the week I have to drag her out of bed after the third snooze alarm way past 7 a.m.? Come on. There is no way and no one can convince me otherwise. I made her go the $*#@ back to sleep by the way, and was a total ass about it. Pluuuueease. Love you woman, and love your blog.
Cydne
4/5/2015 12:53:20 am
In the stressful times, YES, focus on "This will all be gone in a flash." But don't worry about cherishing the stress. Let it come, breath through it, this will pass, this will pass, thank f'ing goodness this will pass. It's the cuddling (maybe some sniffling), and the kisses, and all the rest we get to cherish. That may have become lost in the broad "cherish every moment" strokes of advise. I think the truer sentiment is, "cherish as many of the good moments as you possibly can, and let the rest go." ;)
Helen Tuggy, Ph.D Psychologist, retired.
4/3/2017 09:46:16 am
Nobody cherishes the early stages when kids can't regulate themselves emotionally. It's awful. Once in a while, funny Comments are closed.
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I'm Molly. I'm all in for parenting. I'm all in for good food. All in for big and small outdoor adventures. And really only partly in for homemaking. I want a Martha Stewart home and meal, but the truth is, we mamas just can't do it all. Not really. This shit is tricky!
This is a collection of musings and missives about parenting like you mean it. I mean really mean it. About how you can pull off a really mostly decent meal, keep your house kinda clean, do some of your laundry, and also even remember to usually feed your pets. But mostly about how being a mama is hard and we can totally rock it, but maybe that dream of perfection has got to give a little.
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